CJ's Once in a Lifetime from Amalgamated TruthMaker Enterprises is a lasting monument to the 2006 NCAA Men's Basketball Championship, and it is likely your best shot at immortality*. This bracketory rebus explores the geometry and cosmology of the men's college basketball universe, rendering transparent the opaquity of fate and tempering the cruel indifference of Fortuna's capricious wheel to provide significance and purpose for those who accept its challenge.

*Offer void in conjuction with the Rapture.

IT'S MARCH MADNESS BABY!!!

The selection committee will announce its choices for the NCAA tournament bracket on Sunday, March 12, and pool sheets will immediately start flooding the broadband. The 2006 Men's NCAA Basketball Tournament begins at 9:00 AM PST on Thursday, March 16!

That means it's time for CJ's Once in a Lifetime!!!

1. Download the CJ's Once in a Lifetime bracket spreadsheet from www.liquidtongue.com/ncaa/NCAAHome.html on March 12, 2006 and make your picks for each game.
   
   Each correct pick earns a certain number of points depending on the tournament round:
   • Round 1--1 point per correct pick
   • Round 2--2 points per correct pick
   • Round 3--4 points per correct pick
   • Final Four--8 points per correct pick
   • Finals--16 points per correct pick
   • Winner--32 points
     
   
   
2. Be sure to include your name and the total number of points you think will be scored in the final game (tiebreaker purposes).
   
   
3. Return the completed spreadsheet to chrisgod24@yahoo.com  no later than 9:00 A.M. PST on Thursday, March 16, 2006. Late entries cannot be accepted. Snail-mail picks must be postmarked no later than Wednesday, March 15, 2006 -- entries postmarked March 16 or later cannot be accepted.
   
   If you cannot return your picks on the CJ's Once in a Lifetime bracket spreadsheet (and please try, corporate cost-cutting has hit us hard; we're working with 1959 IBM B-Series Mainframe punch cards that the TruthMaker got off of E-Bay for $133), please send them in text format in an e-mail attachment or through snail mail.
   
   EXAMPLE: Round 1:  Syracuse, Duke, Cincinnati, NAU, Winthrop, Auburn, UCSB, Marquette, Pepperdine, Louisville, Seton Hall, Kansas, Miami, UCLA, Stanford, Utah, etc. (total of 32)
   Round 2:  Syracuse, Duke, Cincinnati, NAU, etc.  (total of 16)
   Round 3:  Syracuse, Duke, Cincinnati, etc.  (total of 8)
   Round 4:  etc. (total of 4)
   Round 5:  etc. (total of 2)
   Round 6:  Duke  174 pts.  (total of 1, with total amount of points you think will be scored in final game)
   
   

Send your picks electronically to chrisgod24@yahoo.com.

If somehow you are receiving this e-mail message and visiting www.liquidtongue.com for scores, standings, and commentary, yet cannot send your picks electronically, send them in any format to the following address:

Amalgamated TruthMaker Enterprises
c/o ZUMACRAE
PO Box 2298
El Granada, CA 94018

Make your check or money order for $10 out to ZUMACRAE.

Amalgamated TruthMaker Enterprises
c/o ZUMACRAE
PO Box 2298
El Granada, CA 94018

• Make sure to pick a winner for every game.  If you are unsure, it is better to guess than to leave it blank.
• Look ahead.  Remember, you can't win every game, and it is important to make sure that when determining your early round picks you "protect" your late round selections (that is where you earn the majority of your points).
• There is no sure-fire system.  Use stats, intuition, tea leaves, team colors--whatever you think is important--to decide your picks.
• Review the TruthMaker's Golden Rules.

If you need more help in making your picks, check this out.

• It is very important that you e-mail your picks to CJ's Once in a Lifetime at by 9 A.M. PST on March 16, 2006. Snail-mail picks must be postmarked no later than Wednesday, March 15, 2006 -- entries postmarked March 16 or later cannot be accepted.
• You do not have to send payment with your picks, but all entry fees must be received before the beginning of the Final Four.  Please do not be lame and decide not to send your money after Round 3  because the team you picked to win it all just lost and you know you won't win.
• If you have any questions, please email Amalgamated TruthMaker Enterprises at chrisgod24@yahoo.com.
• Thank you for choosing CJ's Once in a Lifetime, and good luck.